Well, obviously.

BratzBasher and Merkin are hosting a panel at this year’s Anime St Louis. They will present a short version of Hyakumonogatari Kaidankai. It’s a traditional storytelling activity from Japan. You gather a group together, light 100 lanterns (or candles), and tell scary stories. Each time you finish a story, you extinguish one light. At the end of 100 stories, you’re left in complete darkness. If that’s peaked your interest, there’s a pretty informative post by Zack Davisson here.

BratzBasher was telling me about one of the stories she’s collected.

“There’s this blind man, and he’s walking down the road on a dark night — not that he’d know that.”

I just had to laugh when she interrupted herself with that statement of the obvious.

The Good(will), the Bad, and the Oh-My-Lanta…

Monday found me at the Goodwill again. That place is a treasure trove of crazy, folks, but sometimes there’s stuff worth bringing home. Normally, I’ll bug my long-distance friend via text with pics. This week, there were just too many to share, so I’m posting them here instead. I’ll show them in order of discovery.

Two words, people: tweed culottes.

Last year, around this time, I told people all about the Christmas tin I found that had been decorated with googly eyes, buttons, and beads all over the lid. I saw it for weeks, and then it disappeared. Well, folks, it’s back in time for the holiday season, and now I have the picture to prove it.

Does anyone else remember the cutest character on the PBS series Clifford the Big Red Dog?T-Bone is so adorable that I almost brought him home with me. I resisted, though. I’m hoping some lucky kid will be seeing this guy under the tree. I think Goodwill’s stuffed animal aisle is more of a stuffed animal shelter with lots of discarded plushies waiting to be adopted. A dog as friendly and sweet as this guy should be snatched up pretty quick.

 

This package of random cookie cutters included a large maple leaf, a heart, and Pocahontas.

Now you can bake with all the colors of the wind.

 

I think these snowmen are rather adorable, but one of them couldn’t stand up properly. (He could be missing a part.) Plus, they have glitter in some places, and that stuff needs to stay the heck out of my house.

In hindsight, I should have purchased this coconut bra and just cut off the straps.Linda’s always wanted a horse like Patsy.

There was a time when I would have balked at this t-shirt, but now I just think the bees are cute. I still wouldn’t wear it, but that’s just a matter of personal style.

Well, I should really get back to my seasonal crafting. Christmas waits for no (wo)man. Happy Holidays, y’all!

Two Knights, a Rapper, and a Moose walk into a Goodwill…

Mondays and Wednesdays are short days at the college for BratzBasher, as she only has two classes. Rather than going home after dropping her off, I stay in town and wander around Goodwill. You’ve already read about some of the adventures I’ve had there. BB knows she can count on there being at least one crazy photo on her phone when she checks it after class. I do like to share pics of the interesting things I find. I thought I’d share a few with you, though I admit that items two and three are from the local Dollar General (which begs its own post, actually).

I found this gem among the offerings on the plus-size rack and was immediately lamenting the lack of ugly sweater Christmas parties here.

(I found a companion t-shirt printed with the same gold chain and an SP for South Pole in Old English Text, but I didn’t get a photo of that one.)

Here’s a coloring book featuring two knights who are obviously BFFs.

(Doesn’t it look like they’re holding hands?)

And finally…

Holiday Moose has seen things. Terrible things.

A friend of mine recently texted me while she was at her local Goodwill. I told her to send me a pic of something funny. She couldn’t really find anything. So sad.

What’s Good at the Goodwill?

It’s no secret that I enjoy a good stroll through the local Goodwill, wherever I may be. Sometimes, if BratzBasher is having a short day at the community college (too short to bother driving home), I’ll pop in for a leisurely browse. If I find something ridiculous, hideous, or just downright crazy, I’ll snap a photo and send it to BB or Merkin. Here are just a few of the treasures I’ve discovered:

Who wouldn’t want this bit of lovely hanging in their living room?

Your face is a flyswatter!

The feathers! The dolphins! It’s glorious!

Mrs. Claus shouldn’t smile like that. People will think she’s…up to something.

Ohhh, holy nYIKES!

At this point, I’d like to apologize for losing my photo of the seashell people playing poker — complete with toothpick cigars. It was a thing of beauty, but my phone died. But wait! Google saves the day! It looked almost exactly like this:

Now that’s craftsmanship!

So if you have some time to kill, pop into your local Goodwill and see what you can find. Don’t forget to send me a photo.

You never know what you’ll find.

Several years ago, the appearance of a Goodwill donation truck in the local commuter lot prompted a running gag in our family. The truck sat there in plain sight of the interstate indefinitely. Might even still be there. I don’t know. We moved a few months ago. After donating 40% of our belongings to Goodwill, actually.

Anyway…Every time Merkin and BratzBasher drove past, they’d speculate on what sort of items might be dropped off there. After spotting a volunteer sitting in the back of the truck one day, they had a little story going about poor Henry, an elderly man whose wife decided he didn’t match the furniture anymore. Poor Henry was left to await collection in the back of the Goodwill trailer. Why do I mention this? Because it turns out that there is a surprising amount of leeway in what you can donate to Goodwill.*

I dropped BB off at college this morning and spent a little time wandering the local Goodwill. You never know what bizarre things you might find, and I sometimes send photos of funny discoveries to BB for her to look at between classes. Last week, it was a 4-ft-tall chili pepper plushy with a mustachioed grin and a sombrero. This morning, I was so stunned by my discovery that I forgot to take a photo. I’m sure y’all will understand why. It was sitting on the top shelf of an end-of-aisle display featuring decorative knick-knacks. It looked like a large, white, ceramic egg (about 6″ tall). I turned it around to see if there was any sort of picture or design on it. Maybe it was an Easter decoration? It was completely unadorned, but it seemed oddly heavy, so possibly a bookend? I hefted it up off the shelf to confirm that it was definitely heavier than a hollow, ceramic egg should be. That’s when I noticed the plug on the bottom. It looked like what you see on piggy banks. It didn’t rattle*, so there were definitely no coins inside. What the heck is in this thing?

Any guesses? I hadn’t a clue myself, so I wiggled the plug out and peeked inside. Oh My Lanta. It was a plastic bag filled with ash. As ridiculously unbelievable as it seemed, there was no doubt in my mind that I had discovered an urn. An occupied urn. I cast about for an employee and found an older woman stocking the shelves. “Ahem. Excuse me, ma’am? Are you aware what this is?”

The woman gave me that I-just-work-here look and said, “People donate stuff, and we sell it.”

“Um…this is an urn. And it’s full.”

Her eyes got really big. “No. You can’t be serious. Are you sure?”

I unplugged it again and showed her the inside.

“Good Lord! Who on earth donates somebody’s remains?”

I suggested that the donor most likely had no idea what the object was. She reluctantly took it from me and half-jokingly wondered if she should take it home and bury the pour soul in her backyard before she came to her senses and announced she would take it up front to the manager. I honestly have no idea what happened to it after that, but I do think it more likely the ashes belong to someone’s deceased pet.

Of course, I immediately texted Merkin, who told me not to buy it. Then I texted another friend who wondered what sort of person you’d have to be to get donated to Goodwill — or what sort of haunting would be suitable for someone who would donate a person to Goodwill. When I relayed all of this to BB after she finished classes for the day, her immediate response was, “I’m sorry, Henry, but you just don’t match the furniture anymore.” I can’t fault her for that since I was thinking the exact same thing. Though, the egg was never decorated. It could’ve matched pretty much any decor. No excuse, really.

*Actually, there’s just a really good chance that what you donate won’t immediately be recognized as inappropriate.

**Yes, I did shake it, but of course I felt bad about that later when I realized what it was. Not that I could have done any damage, but it seemed disrespectful.