Today I was keeping BratzBasher company between her appointment with the dental hygienist and her consult with our dentist, and we wound up having a very bizarre conversation. The dental hygienist told us we were having way too much fun, and I asked her what was in the toothpaste that she used on BB’s teeth. What were we giggling about? I’m not entirely sure, but here’s a snippet:
Foo4: He hates everything.
BB: Everything he sees.
Foo4: Everything he touches.
BB: Everyone he meets.
Foo4: Everything he smells.
BB: Everything he steals.
Foo4: Why would he steal something he hates?
BB: I don’t know. Maybe he didn’t know he would hate it. “Darn this infernal Snuggie! Why did I ever steal it?”
Foo4: I don’t believe “infernal” and “Snuggie” have ever been put together in the same sentence before.
Later, I was helping BB with her homework for Communication Arts. They’re studying ballads. She had to compare and contrast “Lord Randall” and “Barbara Allen”. For those of you, like myself, who have never read or heard either of those ballads before, I’ll summarize:
Lord Randall goes hunting and meets up with his sweetheart for lunch. He comes home sick and asks his mom to make his bed so he can lie down. Mom keeps nagging him about where he went (hunting), what he ate (fried eel cooked by girlfriend), who ate the leftovers (his hawks and hounds), what happened to the eaters of said leftovers (they died)…”OH! I think you’ve been poisoned!” “Well, duh! Make my bed already, woman!” But instead, she proceeds to grill him about who’s inheriting what from him when he finally keels over. The last verse, she asks what he’s leaving his sweetheart, and he tells her, “Hell and Fire!” and again asks her to make his bed. No verses where she actually does as he requested. Poor guy.
Let’s do Barbara Allen in a more contemporary setting. Ahem. Barbara Allen’s boyfriend went out drinking and then posted a bunch of stuff on facebook about other girls he knew, so she unfriended him. His heart was broken, but she wouldn’t forgive him. He died. She then felt bad and died, too.
My favorite two questions on the worksheet were:
- How are the ballads “Lord Randall” and “Barbara Allen” like soap operas?
- How do these ballads relate to contemporary life?
On a completely unrelated topic, I had a bunch of bananas that were past their prime, so I made banana chocolate chip cookies. We really need to learn to eat our bananas more quickly. I’m getting tired of banana baked goods. Plus, I forgot the walnuts this time.