At a recent appointment with my psychiatrist, he told me that anxiety is a side effect of one of my medications. “Are you experiencing anxiety?” “YES!” Did he change my meds? Did he ask me for more information? No. I’m beginning to believe that man is not listening to me. I need a new doctor. I hate that. Jumping through all the insurance company hoops and being bounced around while trying to find someone who’s accepting new patients, whose office isn’t too far away, who doesn’t make me want to tear my hair out in frustration is not my idea of a good time. I usually make Merkin do it.
Meanwhile, I’ve landed in a position that really pushes the boundaries of my anxiety issues. It’s not a situation that I feel comfortable dropping out of because I feel like I’m shirking my responsibilities, but I just can’t seem to handle it. It’s extremely frustrating and embarrassing. I’m currently working to find a solution, but it involves revealing my weakness to other people, and it’s hard.
My mind keeps coming back to Ether 12:27
And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble…for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.
Every time I think about that scripture, I think I’m stu*** for not being able to do this. Am I lacking in faith? What’s wrong with me? I’m still trying to figure it out.