Embarrassing, but true.

At a recent appointment with my psychiatrist, he told me that anxiety is a side effect of one of my medications.  “Are you experiencing anxiety?”  “YES!”  Did he change my meds?  Did he ask me for more information?  No.  I’m beginning to believe that man is not listening to me.  I need a new doctor.  I hate that.  Jumping through all the insurance company hoops and being bounced around while trying to find someone who’s accepting new patients, whose office isn’t too far away, who doesn’t make me want to tear my hair out in frustration is not my idea of a good time.  I usually make Merkin do it.

Meanwhile, I’ve landed in a position that really pushes the boundaries of my anxiety issues.  It’s not a situation that I feel comfortable dropping out of because I feel like I’m shirking my responsibilities, but I just can’t seem to handle it.  It’s extremely frustrating and embarrassing.  I’m currently working to find a solution, but it involves revealing my weakness to other people, and it’s hard.

My mind keeps coming back to Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble…for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Every time I think about that scripture, I think I’m stu*** for not being able to do this.  Am I lacking in faith?  What’s wrong with me?  I’m still trying to figure it out.

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About foo4luv

I'm a married, bum-around-the-house mom with one child, BratzBasher, who is the only thing in the universe cuter than a bunny nose. I enjoy reading, crafts, sewing unusual Halloween costumes, and taking long walks through Jo-Ann. View all posts by foo4luv

4 responses to “Embarrassing, but true.

  • Christy Flood

    Don’t feel bad. And don’t let others make you feel bad about feeling bad. Sound familiar? You are an amazing woman. I count myself blessed to have you as a friend. I don’t know what the problem is, but I know you can do it. You got this. As Gordon B. Hinckley’s dad told him, “Forget yourself and go to work.” And please, feel free to call me if you need backup. 🙂

  • Lorrie

    I don’t know if I understand all you are going through. Having said that I do know that at time we are challenged to do things that we don’t think we can do. We just doubt ourselves. Other times we really can’t and we need to accept this. Talk to the person who gave you this “position” and explain what you are going through. Maybe with this new information they will be able to make a better assessment as to what the Lord want’s for you. Don’t get down on yourself.

    • foo4luv

      That’s good advice, and I have contacted the appropriate person. Hopefully, we can resolve the issue one way or the other. It certainly is a humbling experience, but I’ve had plenty of those before. Maybe this is the Lord’s way of waking me up to something that I need to deal with instead of ignore. Not necessarily a “suck it up” situation, but a “you need help” situation.

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