I thought it was high time I posted some more movie reviews. I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately (mostly rentals from the local Family Video — love their cheap rates), plus I don’t have anything else to write about.
Sherlock Holmes: “It’s a matter of professional integrity! No girl wants to marry a doctor who can’t tell if a man’s dead or not!” In case you’ve been thinking, “Should I go see it? I’ve heard lots of reviews about it, but I just don’t know. If only Foo4luv would tell me what she thinks of it. Then I’d know if it’s good.” I’m sorry it took me so long to see it, but I’ve had other things to do (crochet sweaters from my belly button lint, for example). Anyway, I really enjoyed it. I like Robert Downey Jr.’s portrayal of Holmes, which is very different from those of previous actors such as Basil Rathbone. I like Jude Law’s more capable, helpful Watson. In the books and previous movies, Watson was just this sidekick that spent most of his time praising Holmes’ genius and contributing nothing of value. In the new movie, Watson gets a lot more action, and the duo is more of an equal partnership with Watson acting as rational counterbalance to Holmes’ erratic antisocial behavior and blatant disregard of the apparent dangers inherent to his style of investigation. Oh, and in case you’re wondering if the writers have sunken our beloved detective to the depths to which Scooby Doo has fallen, never fear. I have no problem telling you that the ghosts will be unmasked.
Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker: “Does it have pinball?” I’m a big fan of Anthony Horowitz’s Alex Rider series. He’s a teenaged James Bond, complete with cool gadgets and cheesy bad guys. Of course, the books are better than this movie, but BratzBasher and I enjoyed it as cheap entertainment. There are some cool fight scenes, particularly the one in the auto junkyard. As far as I’m concerned, they could’ve left the girl out of it, but what’s a Bond movie without a Bond girl, right? This one’s name is Sabina Pleasure, and she doesn’t show up in the series until book 2 (in which she gets a much bigger role), but I’m sure the movie producers knew they’d never make a sequel. Ewan McGregor appears briefly in the beginning as Alex’s uncle Ian. There’s a lovely juxtapose of Alex reading an essay to his class about how boring his uncle is while said uncle is fighting bad guys and blowing up buildings.
Bubba Ho-tep: “Ask not what your rest home can do for you; ask what you can do for your rest home.” Elvis is alive and living in a retirement home in Nacodoches, TX. He’s old, feeble, and nobody believes he’s really the King except his friend, Jack (who claims he’s really the supposedly “late” President John F. Kennedy, despite the fact that he’s black). But Elvis gets his mojo back when a cowboy mummy starts feeding on the souls of the nearly departed and our heroes realize it’s up to them to stop it. It’s got foul language and a few too many references to Elvis’ failed “equipment”, but it’s a great “bad” movie. The graffiti the mummy leaves on the bathroom wall is hilarious, and Elvis and JFK make a great team. Worth the price of the rental if you can find it.
The Ugly Truth: Utter cra*.
The Year of the Dog: Weird, but not in a cool or even quirky way.