Monday Search Term Madness

I never expected to have enough bizarre search terms to do my own post about them.  How foolish I was.  Let me just say right off the bat that I had no idea xylophones were so popular.  There were 18 different searches for the word, including “xylophone”, “picture of xylophone”, “xylophone instrument”, etc…you get the idea.  I had over 1,000 views from people looking for xylophones.  I dare say I could become very popular just by renaming my blog Bored Xylophone.   Ah well.  At the top of my list today are the four searches I did not include in the aforementioned xylophone count for obvious reasons.

xexolophone

xiolophopne

ksilofon — I dare say this one makes the most sense.  The others just seem to be making the word more complicated that it has to be.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m sure it’s got some weird spelling.  I just can’t remember what it is. Never fear.  Google understands all languages and has brought you to me and my humble xylophone pic.  I hope you found what you needed.  I know you at least learned how to spell xylophone properly.

ninja xylophonist — I might pay to see that.  If the ninja’s any good, that is.

קסילופון

I have no idea what the above word is.  I suspect it may be Arabic for xylophone.  At any rate, the computer won’t let me type to the right of it, so I leave it on a line all by itself.  If anyone knows what it means, please share.  Unless it’s obscene — in which case, please share right away.

bodachs vs dementorsI wonder who would win that grudge match.  I’m afraid it didn’t go down here.  Send me a link, would you?

where’s the bunny october 2009 — What’s with the third degree?  Is it in need of an alibi?  Is it being charged with a crime?  You aren’t referring to my Arthur, are you?  I admit there was a very short period of time during which he was missing, but he came back and he certainly wasn’t acting suspiciously.  Should I hire him a lawyer?

what does a bored bunny do? — Nothing.  That’s why he’s bored.

barenaked for the holidays — I do hope you live in a warm, tropical climate.

make christmas craft — I don’t think you can make christmas do anything it doesn’t want to.  Try bribing it with chocolate.  I know that works on me.

girl won’t change out of easter dress — Someone must have told her she looks adorable in it.  Is it a poofy, princess-y dress?  That makes it worse.  Try telling her you need to take it to the royal cleaners.

follow tooth fairy where she is on earth — Is this anything like that Santa tracking web site NORAD set up?  I think it’s NORAD.  I don’t know that you can track a fairy, though.  They’re very elusive.  They work alone, too, so there’s no possibility of a disgruntled insider leaking helpful information.

me me me muppet — I’m a muppet, he’s a muppet, she’s a muppet, we’re all muppets, wouldn’t you like to be a muppet, too?

muppets + turtleneck — I know Bert always wears one.  I’m sure there are others.  Of course, you don’t see as many on Sesame Street these days.  They’re not exactly in fashion, you know.  No offense to Bert.  He really makes it work for him.

why didn’t my dental hygienist put a lea — Believe it or not, I know exactly how this ends.  Merkin once had a dental hygienist who failed to put a lead apron on him before she took x-rays.  I had no idea it was such a common occurence.  I hope the poor dear wasn’t prevented from completing her sentence because she succumbed to radiation poisoning.  Like that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail where they’re reading the message in the cave and the last word is “aaaargh”?

Well, that was fun.  I wonder how long it will take before I’ve accumulated enough odd search terms to do another Monday Search Tearm Madness post.

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About foo4luv

I'm a married, bum-around-the-house mom with one child, BratzBasher, who is the only thing in the universe cuter than a bunny nose. I enjoy reading, crafts, sewing unusual Halloween costumes, and taking long walks through Jo-Ann. View all posts by foo4luv

5 responses to “Monday Search Term Madness

  • madhousewife

    Good grief, assuming these search terms are recent, that girl must have been in her Easter dress for months now!

  • merkin4

    קסילופון
    It looks Hebrew. The reason you can’t type to the right of it is that Hebrew reads right to left, so if you wanted to type more, you’d have to do it to the left.

    The great thing about the dental hygienist was how when I pointed it out, she tried to tell me it was perfectly safe not to use the lead apron. Oh, so the doc purchases those lead aprons at a couple hundred bucks a pop so they can hand there on a re-enforced hook and look pretty? There’s some sort of NIH regulation that says you don’t use lead aprons on the third Thursday of the month between 2 and 3 PM only? It reminded me of the time I got lunch in a work cafeteria and pointed out to the manager that my burger was seriously undercooked – she tried to tell me that beef from their warehouse was OK if it wasn’t fully cooked. I asked if she could show me where in the health department regulations there was a specific exemption for beef coming from one particular warehouse, and if she had a chain of custody for that burger. She didn’t offer another one, fully cooked this time, she didn’t offer to finish heating the one I had. It was just that I was being given a special treat, an initiation into the world of Sushiburgers, I suppose.

    But I digress.

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